Speak English?!

The company I work for deals with customers all over the world. On Monday we have a program in Shanghai with Microsoft. The materials we needed for the conference were shipped out WEEKS ahead of time. As of Friday Chinese customs STILL wouldn't let the materials through. Even though we'd provided them with all the necessary paperwork.

So...we came up with plan B. If by noon on Saturday (Shanghai time) the materials hadn't arrived we should just plan on them not being there. So we found the phone number for a FedEx Kinkos that was close to the hotel were our Client Partner is staying. Peter asked me if I would please be in charge of calling them, explaining how we wanted the materials printed, and making sure they would be done in time. When I expressed my concern about the language barrier he responded..."Don't worry. It's an international company. They'll have someone there that speaks English."

I dialed the number for the Kinkos in Shanghai. A woman answered saying SOMETHING. It just sounded like a bunch of sounds to me.

"Uh. Hi. Speak English?"

"A little."

Oh great...this will be fun trying to explain everything to her. I started speaking in the simplest, shortest sentences I could think of. I'd ask a question....

"Ok."

"You understand me?"

"Ok."

Ya....not working. I tried asking if there was ANYONE else I could speak to.

"Ya. Ok. Great. Bye."

I started yelling in the phone. "NO BYE!"

After wayyyyy too long. She communicated that a man who speaks better English would be there in twenty minutes. Great. I'll call back then.

He did speak much better English. MUCH better. Not great. But it worked. And everything was finally figured out. But here are the lessons I learned from this experience:

1. Chinese customs does not care if you need your package.
2. Just because FedEx Kinkos is an international business does not mean that they will have someone who speaks English.
3. Google is very useful when converting RMBs to USDs.
4. If communicating with people in China you MUST be up all hours of the night because thats when they're up and doing business. AKA-I'm EXHAUSTED.
5. My boss owes me BIG TIME!

And...last but not least....

6. Speaking louder does not make it ANY easier for them to understand you. But it sure does make you feel better.