Its not the end

Today I had a meltdown. A big one.

I was at work. Working with my big sister when something she said just triggered it. All these emotions I hadn't let out yet. I told her everything.

I told her how I feel like I'm failing in some aspects of my life. How hard that is for me to feel and that I imagined my life to be so different at this point. I definitively stated all the ways I'm failing:

1-With money
2-With my physical fitness
3-With relationships
4-With my spiritual growth

She listened. And laughed as I made my very not convincing "I am NOT going to cry about this" statement over and over again as my eyes filled with water. Even as the tear drops were falling I was still saying it.

She told me something important. She's very wisdomous my big sister...

She told me that its okay. She told me that everyone feels this way at some points. I may not be rich. I may not be a size two. I may not be married. I may not be ready to be translated. But I'm working on it. That's what counts.

She told me that I'm a good friend. That I'm a good sister. That I take care of people. That I make people want to be better by being who I am. That may not have anything to do with how much money I have in the bank or my dress size. But it has to do with my relationships and my spiritual growth. We can take our relationships with us in the next life. Not our money. She told me that I can't be a spiritual slob and make people want to be better.

So...from this I learned. I'm not perfect (imagine that...). And there are areas of my life that need improving. But that doesn't mean I'm a complete failure. Just get to work. Set little goals. And be happy and optimistic.

One of my favorite quotes......

"Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out it's not the end."