Childlike Honesty

The day before my birthday I got a facebook message from my cousin Adam. My cousin Adam is on my Dad's side of the family. I'm not quite sure what developmental problems he has but in my mind Adam is always ten years old.

The first message was one line. It said, "Hello Carly Frazier. Its me. Adam."

I chuckled to myself as I read it thinking how much of a little child he is. He commented on how my birthday was the next day and asked how old I would be turning. I told him 23 and he pointed out to me that I'm only three years older than him. Wow. Crazy since he is so much like a child to me. Then he told me that he has a girlfriend. Which made me smile. He deserves to be happy right? He found someone. Then he asked if I have a boyfriend. I told him I don't. He said "well then you need to get one." I laughed again thinking "holy cow! thats been my problem! I just need to GET ONE!!!" So I told him I would work on that. Then he said...

"your twenty three and i started dating when i was eighteen and now i have a girlfriend now"

OKAY! The brutal childlike honesty JUST stopped being cute! I called my mom and we laughed and laughed. Finally I wrote him back and told him that for people as amazing as him it doesn't take very long. That if I were as cool as him I'd have a boyfriend by now. He wrote me back and said, "well i don't know about that but i will tell you this your cute so any guy can ask you out if they ask you or you ask them"

Okay. The childlike honesty is cute again.

What made me happy

Tonight I got to see my dear friend Kay.

Kay and I met our very first semester out at college. We were the first ones to arrive into our dorm. We became instant friends and had dinner together our first night and went to all the freshman activities together.

Now...five years later...she is married and eight months pregnant. Her husband is far away serving in the army. She is still attending school up in Idaho and I have graduated and am working in Utah. She came down for a visit.

We had dinner with her dad and her brother. Then we went to the mall. I bought my future little niece, Brooklyn Kay, an adorable outfit, complete with matching shoes. Kay then got her first tube of eye liner, which made her beautiful brown eyes stand out even more. Then, FINALLY, with an excuse to go into the Motherhood Maternity store....I forced her inside and made her try on outfits, her favorite of which I bought her. And getting $0.50 ice cream cones at Macey's and walking around the store and talking.

We discussed our lives. How they've turned out.

She asked what she can do for me. She wants me to be happy. And she knows that I've always wanted to be married and be a mom.

I told her that I am happy. That I still want those things. More than anything. But that they'll come in time.

You know what made me happy?

Serving her. I know it sounds cheesy. But spending time with her. Listening to her talk about her life and her concerns and joys. Buying her things for her and her baby. Thats what she did for me. Thats how she made me happy.

I think in blog....

Its true. I constantly go throughout my day thinking about what would make a good blog story. Writing on here is addictive. And therapeutic. Sometimes I wish no one else read it so I could pour out my deepest thoughts on here.

But long story short. I have become one of "those" people.

I think in blog.

Desires

Today I'm at home from church. Sick. I know...one thing after another for me.

But I've been thinking about all the things I want to do.

1. I want to have time to design things that I want to design.
2. I want to go back to school and learn web design.
3. I want my own apartment to buy my own furniture for and decorate.
4. I want to run a half marathon.
5. I want to study Spanish. And become fluent.
6. I want to be the person that sends people nice notes in the mail or care packages.
7. I want to travel. OH so bad.
8. I want to learn to play the violin.
9. I want to write.

And this stuff isn't about not being satisfied with the life I have. I just want to find a little time each day to do something that I want to do. These are my desires.

"Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. The desires we act on determine our changing, our achieving, and our becoming."

That's the kind of person I want to become.

Injured

Some people run, some people play sports, some people are running around and do something stupid, or step on something....

I, on the other hand, sleep.

I went to the doctor on Tuesday. My foot was REALLY bothering me. Just really uncomfortable to walk on, nothing too serious though. So he said he'd take a look at it.

"You have all the signs of a sprained ankle."

"Uh....ya....thats not possible."

We started going through what I could've done. We finally discovered that with my new way of sleeping on my back with a pillow under my knees, which is supposed to help my back and thus help with my headaches, that my heavy down comforter is the reason my ankle now has a minor sprain.

My family's response to the news that I sprained my ankle while sleeping.....LOTS of laughing, very little sympathy and then from my dear sweet mother....

"Good night sweetheart. Make sure you wrap your ankle before you fall asleep tonight!"

Funny.

Say What?!?!

I was so nervous. I had a whole speech. I knew that the perfect time was during my Monday morning meeting. We finished discussing my responsibilities for the week.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"Nope. That's everything."

"Alright.......Um......"

I was losing my nerve! I'd been thinking about doing this for WEEKS! I had to do it. I heard my mother (lecture #429) in my head "You can do hard things."

"Hey....there's actually something I need to talk to you about."

I closed the office door. Now or never!

"I need a raise."

I gave my whole speech. I was nervous. And shaking. And spoke fast. Tried to act put together and calm and responsible. I told my boss that I would basically need a FIFTY percent raise to stay where I am. Side note: I've been told over and over and over again by multiple people that they've asked for a SMALL raise and been told no. And consequently had to quit and move on. And I was asking for FIFTY percent.

And then I waited...

"Alright. You're worth a LOT more than we're paying you. We don't want to lose you. So I'll talk to Curtis and we'll get something worked out. We'll make this work."

Oh man. Awesome. But now getting Curtis on board....

I got a phone call later that afternoon.

"Hey I just talked to Curtis. We're going to take care of it."

SAY WHAT?!?!?!?!

And it continues....

Six weeks ladies and gentleman.

For six straight weeks I have had headaches. And they are getting worse.

At first they thought they were stress headaches. And given all the stuff I was going through when they first started it could have been it. But they haven't gone away. And they've gotten worse.

I'm out of my drugs that worked. I've resorted to taking my hardcore drugs. Ugh. No fun! How anyone can become a drug addict is beyond me.

But I got a blessing last night. I was blessed with hope.

So tomorrow I will go to another doctor. And Tuesday I will go the neurologist. And I will remain hopeful. Hopeful that one day (soon) the pain will be completely gone.

Thank you for all of you who have prayed for me and taken care of me through all of this madness.