"In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike--and they will--you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection (2Kings 6:16-17). They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham's seed."

The things I repeat to myself

I've been thinking about writing on her for a few days now. But I've been staring at the screen having NO idea what to write about or more importantly what to title this entry.

Its 2011! Amazing. Time has gone by so fast! I was talking about my freshman year of college the other day. And realized that was five years ago...

I'd have to say I thought my life would be different at this point. All signs led to it being different. I had a plan. I had backups to the plan. I had backups to the backups. But here I am. Completely and utterly in awe at how things have turned out.

You know how in school they had you write those things that said "in the year 2011 I will be...."? Ya. This is not what I planned. Not even close.

I am not myself at the moment. A lot of people that I would have told you were staples in my life are gone. I'm not quite sure why. I promise you I was nothing but there for them. But they're gone just the same. I'm not gonna act all Mary Sunshine about it either. It hurts. A lot. Still. Some are very fresh and some are old. And I've decided that its okay for that to hurt.

I am a good friend. Its one of the things I've actually taken pride in. If I am your friend you have not a single doubt that I love you. Or that I would do ANYTHING for you. Looking back I'm amazed at some of the stuff I have done for those people.

But you know what? Today was a good day. You know why? Cause I only cried ONCE today. And I found a song to sing to at the top of my lungs in the car on my way to pick Jenna up from school.

So...I'll wake up tomorrow...and hope for no crying. Or maybe just half a cry.

Things will get better. Its taken me a few days to realize that. But things will get better. My life isn't what I planned it. So what? Sometimes life just sucks. So what?

Things will get better. Its not you. Everything happens for a reason. The night is darkest before the dawn. Even roses have thorns. Every cloud has a silver lining. I can do it. When one door closes, another opens. After every storm comes a rainbow. One day at a time.

These are the things I repeat to myself.